(no subject)

i feel like crap. i feel soo bloated. does anyone know how to get rid of the feeling. i hate myself. i hate everything about me. especially the way i look. i'm so fat. i just can't get rid of it. i just wanna cut it all off. sorry for sounding selfish. hope you guys had a good day.

dreams

i've been having weird dreams lately. sometimes it's just me bingeing. and then waking up and wondering if i had actually eaten or not. last night, i dreamt that my bestfriend was using my laptop. and she wanted to show me her journal or something. and as she was typing in the address, the list of all sites that i had visited popped out. i felt like jumping out of a window. she just sat there looking at it. and then i woke up.

(no subject)

paracelsus ~ all substances are poisons; there is none that is not a poison. the right dose differentiates a poison from a remedy

this thing that we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down

obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes of the goal

(no subject)

i hate myself. i look into the mirror and i see a fat person. i fasted for 2 days. felt dizzy. and basically caved. ate a shit load of crap. gained back the weight that i lost. and i'm absolutely disgusted. i look into the mirror and see a fat legs, bulging stomach, flabby arms. everything's wrong. i need to correct it. no more food till sunday. weekends is when i usually cave. but not this time. i will succeed. i will lose weight. i will reach 100. i can and i will.
sorry for ranting. but i hope nobody is going through this same crap. any tips to shed the pounds faster. not faster but more of lose them and let them stay lost forever.

how is everyone doing...

it's really weird. i haven't eaten anything since sunday and i've been dreaming about me eating and bingeing. i seem to think about food at night. and i just tell myself. okay you'll have it tomorrow. and when tomorrow comes, the thought just goes away. my flatmate sucks. she keeps asking me whether i've eaten. i think i'll just cook something today, and just chuck it away in my room. gooood luck all!!

back on track

i just got a scale today. it was super expensive. have to look it as more of an invesment. i had a sandwich today. kinda got it on purpose. before stepping on the scale. it's been 5 months. and i was really nervous. it first read 119lb. i totally freaked out. then i took of the 4 layers of clothes i was wearing and it read 115lb. not much of a relief but at least it's a smaller number. i don't feel so lost now. kinda feel really motivated. i have my bottle of green tea in front of me. and as of 3pm sunday 27th february, i'm back on track, starting my fast. so how're you ladies doing? hope you're getting closer to your goal. as for me, first 110 then 105 then 100. good luck all. tata....

(no subject)

i just read up on green tea. it does boost your metabolism, burns an extra 80cals a day. but it is also a diuretic due to the caffiene. so it dehydrates you at the same time. 2 cups of tea is equivalent to one cup on water.